I'm so emotional tonight. My friends, in November, made the difficult choice to change their family path and their her daughter in home hospice. Ellie has been a bundle of joy and life for so many years, but not enough of them. Her 11th birthday is coming later this month.
Ellie's aunt is compiling memories and thoughts to put in a book and share with her parents and I'm so moved by their bravery in the face of an impossible situation. Here's what I shared:
Dear Kennedy Family,
I first met Debi and Thom when Ellie was still hanging out in Debi's
tummy. I remember that Debi and I shared a laugh because she'd just
read that she needed to eat all these certain foods to ensure that her
baby be healthy and we agreed that it seemed improbable that the
weight of a child's life could rest on how many cantaloupe a person
eats. I thought to myself that this was a lucky baby to be born to a
mom who was real and honest and so obviously in love with her baby's
daddy. That seemed like a very good family to be born into.
One time when Rachel and I came to visit the Kennedy's there was a
potty chair in the living room - a conveniently placed reminder for
Ellie (Betsi then) that she could give it a try. Rachel had only just
finished learning to use the bathroom a short time before and I found
nothing about the potty amusing. Ellie came in a put her foot in the
empty potty and laughed and laughed while she looked at me. I
marveled at this girl who could find so much joy in an item that had
been my nemesis for so many months. Later, when I talked to a friend
about the day, my friend said that Ellie seemed to be a girl who could
find joy anywhere and I thought, "I should take a lesson from that."
On December 2, 2008, I sent the following message to the huggle
snuggle shop and got the following response. (Yes, I saved it - it's
very valuable):
"I'm so frustrated because our oven is broken and we don't have the
money to fix it and I want to make sugar cookies so Rachel won't be
the only one without a sugar cookie at Hebrew School on Thursday. I
think a hug would help."
"So sorry to hear about your oven. When I told Ellie you need a
huggle snuggle and could she throw you one, she said, "No, I won't
throw her one, I'll throw her a LOT." Hope you felt 'em."
I loved being with you for the Celebration of Life and I will always
remember participating in a walk to raise funds for pediatric cancer
research. (Go Team B!) I'll remember all you taught me as role
models (like how to compost) and all your strength and bravery.
You've inspired me to count my blessings and to appreciate every
second of joy and love I experience. I'm blessed to have know you.
As your lives continue, I hope that your memories and your blessings
are comforts to you. The roller coaster of life has given you some
extra ups and downs and, I hope you find some smooth times ahead.
Give extra hugs to Ben and Lotta and all of your children will be in
my thoughts all the time.
Warmly,
I first met Debi and Thom when Ellie was still hanging out in Debi's
tummy. I remember that Debi and I shared a laugh because she'd just
read that she needed to eat all these certain foods to ensure that her
baby be healthy and we agreed that it seemed improbable that the
weight of a child's life could rest on how many cantaloupe a person
eats. I thought to myself that this was a lucky baby to be born to a
mom who was real and honest and so obviously in love with her baby's
daddy. That seemed like a very good family to be born into.
One time when Rachel and I came to visit the Kennedy's there was a
potty chair in the living room - a conveniently placed reminder for
Ellie (Betsi then) that she could give it a try. Rachel had only just
finished learning to use the bathroom a short time before and I found
nothing about the potty amusing. Ellie came in a put her foot in the
empty potty and laughed and laughed while she looked at me. I
marveled at this girl who could find so much joy in an item that had
been my nemesis for so many months. Later, when I talked to a friend
about the day, my friend said that Ellie seemed to be a girl who could
find joy anywhere and I thought, "I should take a lesson from that."
On December 2, 2008, I sent the following message to the huggle
snuggle shop and got the following response. (Yes, I saved it - it's
very valuable):
"I'm so frustrated because our oven is broken and we don't have the
money to fix it and I want to make sugar cookies so Rachel won't be
the only one without a sugar cookie at Hebrew School on Thursday. I
think a hug would help."
"So sorry to hear about your oven. When I told Ellie you need a
huggle snuggle and could she throw you one, she said, "No, I won't
throw her one, I'll throw her a LOT." Hope you felt 'em."
I loved being with you for the Celebration of Life and I will always
remember participating in a walk to raise funds for pediatric cancer
research. (Go Team B!) I'll remember all you taught me as role
models (like how to compost) and all your strength and bravery.
You've inspired me to count my blessings and to appreciate every
second of joy and love I experience. I'm blessed to have know you.
As your lives continue, I hope that your memories and your blessings
are comforts to you. The roller coaster of life has given you some
extra ups and downs and, I hope you find some smooth times ahead.
Give extra hugs to Ben and Lotta and all of your children will be in
my thoughts all the time.
Warmly,
The Celebration of Life was a wonderful experience. It was back in the days when Betsy and I were trying our hand at a party planning business. I helped Debi and Thom plan a party to celebrate Ellie's one year of survival after her surgery. It was a true celebration and a joy.
Huggle Snuggles were special hugs that Ellie would send to anyone. Thom set up a web site where we could order them online (for free) and then Ellie would send them out in the universe and we could really feel them. Giving, giving, giving.
I'm going to go count my blessings again.
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