At Least You Aren't Chained to a Wall

A couple of years ago I went to a conference in Chicago for the Points of Light Foundation. At the conference, we had a speaker from an Improv group in Denver called Chicken Lips. The presentation was called, "Laugh Like Your Life Depends on It." I don't remember the presenter's name, so I'll call him Mike.

Mike spoke to us for a long time about the power of laughter. He told a lot of funny stories and also spoke about facts in relation to how laughter lowers your blood pressure and increases your life expectancy. He talked about people he'd worked with who were miserable without laughter and people who became healthy after laughter was introduced to their lives. I'm sure you can imagine the kind of funny, interesting things he shared, but one story was particularly compelling.

When we were kids there was a group of Americans who were held hostage in Iran. Do you remember that? They were held for six years. One of the men held was from Denver and he and Mike were friendly acquaintances before he went to Iran. (I don't remember his name either, so I'm going to call him Charlie.) Mike knew Charlie was going to Iran. He had taken some kind of teaching position and would be gone for a year. He was excited about the adventure.

Soon after moving to Iran, Charlie was kidnapped and held hostage. For two years he was kept chained to a wall; constantly. For six years he did not see sunlight; at all. He never knew if his family was OK. He never knew if he would survive. He never knew if his country had forgotten him or if anyone in the world was even looking for him missing body.

When Charlie was released and returned to Denver, Mike made arrangements to meet with him. After the usual talk about how glad everyone is that everyone is all right, Mike asked Charlie how he made it through that time. Charlie said, "Laughter." He went on to explain that they (the hostages) had nothing else to rely on. They worked hard every day to find something to laugh about. It was challenging and some days the laughter was very hard to find. But, they knew that they had to do something and that finding laughter and laughing was all they had. They used it as a tool to help one another and to keep themselves alive.

Mike told us that he went with Charlie to the DMV to get his new driver's licence. (Because he'd been gone 6 years and it had expired.) The lines were long and the service was slow and it was several hours before Charlie reached the front of the line. When he did, the woman at the counter recognized him and apologised that he'd had to wait such a long time. Charlie said, "At least I wasn't chained to a wall."

After that Charlie picked up his life right where he left off. He placed his hostage experience in his past and focused on the present and the future. He used laughter to get him through the after-effects of his ordeal and he lived his life. According to Mike, Charlie, seems like every other regular guy who has a regular happy life.

And, Mike has had opportunity to meet with other men who were members of the Iran hostage group. He says some kept that laughter and put their experience in their past and moved forward. He says they are doing great. He says that there are also some who couldn't put their hostage experience in their past and that they have been unable to lead successful and fulfilling lives.

When I heard this story I thought of a friend of mine. She's got small children and lives far from her family and somewhat isolated from the people and interests that support her. Of course she is not a hostage in Iran chained to a wall without seeing sunlight for six years. But, there are some similarities.

Every day holds challenges that are real and are sometimes large. But, she is a graceful, joyous, lovely person who loves her family and who has a great power to appreciate humor in many situations.

Over the next six years she will use laughter as her tool to living a happy life and to having a happy home. Laughter is going to be a source of health and sanity and she'll find it every day - even when it's really hard to find.

Unlike the hostages, she will know that at the end of a few years her pre-schoolers will grow into lovely young children who can do more for themselves and she will remember the days of sippy cups and snuggly bedtime stories. In the meantime, she'll change diapers and teach her children to share. In her mind she'll whisper to herself, "Hey, at least you aren't chained to a wall."